Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Aggression, Stupidity, or Something Else Entirely?


I would have told you that I took everything of mine from Philadelphia when I left. Of course, I was in a bit of psychic disarray, to put it mildly, and it soon became clear that I had left a few things behind.

More than a few, it turns out: three boxes of things, from the important (bike helmet and swim bag) to the completely unimportant. Dave has mailed them all to me. And of course it's not his place to decide the importance of my things. So if it looked like it was mine, he put it in a box and mailed it -at considerable expense of time and energy, to his credit.

But in the latest box was some of my food from the cupboards. In particular, a box of grits. Now I know that he will not eat grits, so it would have gone to waste there. But it was an OPEN box of grits, which he didn't put into a ZipLoc bag. He just put it in the box -and now there is grits in all of my winter clothes (which of course, in my permanent state of denial about winter, I had left behind.) Grits won't ruin clothes, so there's no harm done.

But really... who does that? There was also a cauliflower in the refrigerator, which I'm sure he didn't use. Why didn't he send that? Or what about the open bag of flour -or is he suddenly going to take up baking? Why choose the grits at all? Why not grab a bag to put it in? What on earth is this about?

10 comments:

Lexy said...

Dr. Lexy here. It could be just a "guy" thing - not thinking. Could be he was in a hurry. Could be a very passive-aggresive thing. Oh, I didn't seal that? So sorry.

Maybe he's messing with you to see if you'll say anything so you can validate his no-more-marriage brainstorm.

Bottom line: it's all speculation.

Lisa :-] said...

It does seem a bit...odd. Not dismissing the passive-aggressive aspect of it...

Renee said...

I vote for thoughtless. Guys are dumb that way. Plus, I don't know, it's not like he sent a box of oatmeal, which is so generic. It's *grits*. It's Southern. You're Southern. OK, that sounds like I'm stating the obvious, but do you see what I mean? It just seems more *you* than a head of cauliflower.

Good thing there was no okra in the fridge, huh?

breadchick said...

It's a guy thing. When I left Cambridge I thought I had packed everything (and unlike you, I had several weeks to do so). However, things I "thought" MBH would know I wasn't interested in and/or didn't want to be greedy about somehow ended up in a few boxes and shipped to me as well; including a bag of shipping peanuts not used as packing material but just packed and shipped.

It's a guy thing. They aren't programmed to think logically about these types of things.

hugs

Elisa said...

I did something like that myself while I was moving. It wasn't grits -- I think it may have been oatmeal -- just tossed, open, into a packing box. I guess I just was hurrying and not paying enough attention to what I was doing. So I agree with Lexy -- it could be nothing or anything.

elizabeth said...

Maybe it was due to a combination of male dumbassedness and a sign that he was feeling bad and distracted about the crappy way he ended things. Anyway you got a funny anecdote from it at least.

carolynswafford said...

Andrea - I have to agree with you...WHO DOES THIS? The person you think you knew so well turns out to do things that make you think that you didn't know him at all. I'm just picturing you looking at your winter clothes with grits all through them and just feeling astounded at the absurbdity of it all. :)

Sandi said...

There you go- finding the humor in the situation just like Crazy Aunt Purl! I think this is a major step towards getting back to the "kicking butt and taking names" Andrea. Brava.

P.S. Packing grits is ludicrous regardless of gender, state of mind, or any other defining characteristic, although not quite as ludicrous as shipping packing peanuts. What is wrong with people?

Barbara said...

I agree that the grits represent you more than the cauliflower does, and that the packing them unsealed is unfathomable, but may mean nothing at all, or may be quite passive-aggressive. In fact it seems rather like his approach to this whole horror-show.

I know this is impossible, but I would aim to stop thinking about what he's thinking and feeling. Dismiss him. Not worth your time, energy, head-space.

Sharon said...

I am at a loss. All of the above may be true.