Thalia is the green bike. She is a work of art.
I did two things when I got back to town in the fall: I joined a different gym and I bought a fabulous bike -a more-expensive-than-my-car bike. The thing is, both those things match my old fitness level, but are WAY more than I need now. A year of emotional upheaval and 6 months now of ever-increasing scheduling madness have pretty much destroyed my fitness levels.
It's almost embarrassing to ride this bike these days. Here's this fabulous work-of-art bike that Lance Armstrong would be proud to ride -and it's being ridden by a fat, middle-aged woman who would do fine with a bike from Wal-mart. But today is my late-day at work and the weather is gorgeous, so I braved the existing-only-in-my-head ridicule and went out for a 1/2 hour bike ride. And, as frequently happens, the cobwebs cleared and ....
I HAD A THOUGHT.
Oh...my...God.... an actual thought ;)
I was right to join the gym and buy the bike. I don't have to be already-fit to deserve them. Those two actions signaled my new life, done my way. It's just taking me a little while to figure out how I want that to look.
I could, for example, use the lovely Thalia as a way to get some fun vacationing in. Next year, I could drive the two of us to, say, Pennsylvania, visit with my sister, and ride the Covered Bridge Metric Century. I checked bikeride.com, and there are interesting rides where each of my siblings and my mother live. This could be fun, and a project well worth training for. I can and will bike the beautiful paths and roads around here. I can reclaim fitness starting where I am, a little bit at a time. I don't have to do it all today.