Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Bereft, Darlings, Simply Bereft ;)

Right this minute, I love my life.

It's too hot here. We're having our annual few days where having an air conditioner (or six) would be really nice. And in the interest of hospitality, I'll do my best to get them into the windows before my sisters get here. I ought to hate these days where sweat runs down your back even when you're holding still, but I love them. The sky is blue. The grass is still green (that won't last much longer).

The lilies are beautiful. The whole things just hurts your eyes it's so lovely.

And I'm on vacation. As a person who has always worked too hard, even at meaningless jobs, it's interesting to love NOT working sometimes. I never understood that before now. The silence...the not needing to go anywhere I don't want to go... the absence of people needing things NOW (whether or not they really do)...I ought to feel bereft, but I don't.

I'm loving my school-work. It ought to be tedious to be back in a classroom. It SO VERY isn't. It can be over-freaking-whelming to try to get everything done. But the joy of having ideas banging around in my head again, that's almost too much to bear, it's so wonderful.

I ought to be lonely, not having a man around, and all. I am SO VERY NOT. I wish I could do more with my friends and family, true enough. Sometimes I have to say no to opportunities because I just can't schedule something in. But another way of saying the same thing is that there is an embarrassment of riches in the social department. I have all I can do and then some.

I know you must have noticed that most of the time I focus on the things I'm not getting done, on the opportunities I miss or never even noticed until they were gone. I concede, possibly, that I'm a little hard on myself :) And maybe in light of those days, these good days seem a little mercurial. Perhaps.

But today, all is right in my world. Right this minute I'm not lacking a thing that I need or want. And tomorrow my sisters arrive. Could it GET any better?

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