Thursday, June 12, 2008

Choosing the Baseline Carefully

There are days -most days- when I feel nutty as a fruitcake. My glasses have been lost -in the house!- for over a week. And I don't have piles of junk to lose them in. This means that I did something ridiculous like put them in the freezer. (No. I checked.) Today I received a notice from the State Department of Revenue that I didn't sign my tax return. I spend hours and hours trying to figure out what I could have done differently to actually have the husband I thought I had.

Yup... nutty as a fruitcake.

But that's if you choose someone like you as the baseline to indicate sanity. We need to rethink this. There is this person in town who's right on the friend/acquaintance cusp. I am reliably informed that she has gone off the deep end. She has, I am told, paid $50 to a company that promises to remove alien probes from your body. By phone. You hold the phone up to the part of your body that has the alien probes. They play a sound that sounds remarkably like a fax machine. And then you go on to the next infected body part. Alas, they weren't able to remove all the probes on the first try, and there will need to be another appointment.

Now, aren't you rethinking my sanity? I certainly am.


Renee said...

You're not nutty, you just have too many thoughts filling up your brain. Your friend with the probe problem? Yeah, she's nutty.

lonelywombat said...

I think I need that phone number....