Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Crisis Yoga -a multi-day reflection

My life is pretty easy most of the time, and sometimes I even have the presence of mind to be grateful for that. But this is not one of those times. There are layers of chaos these days that a Hollywood director would reject as too improbable to be considered for a movie. It includes political realities that make me sad, afraid, and angry, theological/ecclesiological travesties -which is to say, my church is falling apart and this matters a lot to me-, and a personal crisis involving a desperately ill friend -naturally, the friend closest to me in the world and with whom I could commiserate most freely regarding all these other crises. Without being too grandiose about it, I could be spiraling into a crisis of grief that hardly bears looking at. It’s too ferocious and dark to be contemplated. (okay, so that WAS grandiose. It’s also how it feels.)

If I can make myself walk to my mat, yoga helps me deal with the anger and fear -not perfectly mind you, but it helps. But there’s more than that, too. A years-long sustained yoga practice has actually made a difference; I’ve worked “muscles” that help me stay focused, balanced, and calm even when I’m not on my mat. Please don’t think I’ve been perfect -or even particularly good- at responding to this latest crisis, but I do know that I’m better than I would have been otherwise.

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