A week from today it will be six months since I left Swarthmore. Given the fact that I literally hadn't the slightest idea that my life would be ripped in two even a week before that day, I think I've done all right. Even though nothing is all-the-way settled, and I still have "how can this be happening" moods, and fear can rule much of my day if I let it, it's time for the pity party to be over.
Victim-hood happens, and it happened to me. And it takes over and defines your life -sometimes forever. It also puts you at the center of a little firestorm of a drama; you become the star of the show for a little while. The danger of course is that the drama becomes its own story, especially if it had been a long time since the victim was the star of anything.
So, yes, I can acknowledge that the end of my marriage will probably always be a watershed moment in my life. But I can reframe victimhood into something more powerful. (Well, I suppose almost anything is more powerful than that!) And it's time for other people to be the star of the show for a while. Or we can all share the lead roles. Or something ;)
One more week of fretting (with any luck, quietly) and then it's off to the next phase of recovery. Victimhood will become...creativity? Crafting the life I want in the next phase of my life? Knitting my heart whole? Those are metaphors that might work for me. Or maybe I'm looking for something stronger-sounding, bigger-feeling. Flying? Building? Word choice is important to me, but I guess you knew that already.
But whining and rallying the troops in support of poor victimized Andrea -that's definitely over. But just to be clear, you can still send whatever karmic vibes you like toward Professor Entitled ;)