Monday, February 04, 2008

Dear Dave

I can see that you (and Teresa, for that matter) have been exploring my blog several times over the past few days. Only a numb skull creates a blog and yet expects it to be private, and I'm not that, at the very least. So, welcome. Pull up a chair and sit down. You might actually learn something.

But here's the thing. I wish I didn't have to worry about why you were here. I can see not only that you were here, but what the search terms were that led you here. You were looking for references to you. Did you think that I would publicly bash you? Say something libelous? Did your lawyer send you here for ammunition against me? I just don't know. I hate it that I have to consider such despicable things about you, but such is the fruit of your behavior.

Know this. This blog is not about you. My life is no longer about you. True enough, your behavior sent me to the edge of my capabilities. You have pushed me away from you and off into a life I never wanted or even really considered. But having done that, you no longer set the terms. This space and this life? They're mine. You're not the story here.

Now, if you want to read about the story, you are welcome. But know that you are no longer even the subtext. I'm not even sure that I wish it were otherwise, anymore.

Andrea

10 comments:

Lexy said...

Isn't that what guilty people do?

I hope they're scared. Really scared.

Kimberly said...

On one hand--I understand the impulse. It would be hard for me to resist!

On the other hand--it's kind of creepy and pathetic. Isn't undermining your life enough? Lurking about afterward to watch what happens next is pretty sad. "We've f'd her over--let's see if she's talking about me!" Lovely.

These people just ARE the people mentioned in the NYT, aren't they? “I’m having a midlife crisis” sounds a lot better than “I’m a narcissistic jerk having a meltdown.”

Lianne Raymond said...

Andrea - I kind of hope they are reading - because they could learn a lot about what it means to move through this world with grace and class and compassion. You are an inspiration to me and to so many - you have no idea.

Dave's life, otoh, has become a pathetic tragedy.

Lianne Raymond said...

Had to look up the article Kimberly referenced - spot on - here's the link in case others would like to read it:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/15/health/15mind.html?_r=1&oref=login

Lisa :-] said...

Once again, "Brava!"

Monica said...

Uh, something you may not have realized is this: perhaps it's not Dave who's searched for himself, but others who are curious about who Dave is. Googling Dave Rusin takes people to your blog. Wish I'd never come across your blog. TMI!

Best if luck to you in your recovery/new life. Looks like you've got lots of love and support from family and friends. Dave doesn't appear to have that.

Andrea Rusin said...

I'm sorry you stumbled across my blog if it makes you unhappy. But I'm quite sure it was Dave searching the blog. I can tell from the IP address and the computer name.

Andrea Rusin said...

And googling Dave takes you here? I just tried it. When I google Dave, I get Dave. He has a fairly significant internet shadow of his own, after all.

Elisa said...

I searched his name in two search engines and this blog did not come up in the first four pages of search results for either. I think someone is just playing games with you, Andrea.

M. said...

No playing games. Honestly. Google "Dave Rusin spouse" and your blog appears on page one.

What you've written makes me unhappy only in that it reflects Dave's weak choices. One can only conjecture whether he'd continue in his life to make poor choices or build a better future for himself. Your blog is a testament to friends and family who love and support you. Dave's internet presence is little but math talk.

Sorry if I intruded!