... to take care of me. It's quite surreal, actually.
I've been quiet here because I finally found the courage to sign on the dotted line and file for divorce. I'm sick to death about it, and yes, I cried when it came to the actual moment. Nonetheless, it is done. Once I knew what I wanted, I felt like taking action toward it was the powerful course. (What I want is the house, by the way. So please direct your cosmic attention toward that. The thing I've learned here is that you people are powerful!)
So, anyway... I was being quiet. The petition was the ONLY thing on my mind, but I didn't want Dave to find out through the blog that the papers were on the way. I'm not sure what I did want there, but it seemed polite that he should find out first.
It is also true (and we inch closer to the point, here) that yesterday was the 27th anniversary of the day we got engaged. All in all, a very low week. The path through this horrible process has been nothing like a straight line. However, since about the end of November, it's been roughly on the upswing. The difference between knowing that this is a little dip in the road and knowing that every single day is the worst day of your life and that tomorrow probably will be a new low as well.... well, that difference is everything.
So, anyway... I was being quiet. (Seriously, I'm working on the point, here.) But people didn't stop taking care of me. (Aha! We're getting there.) I got e-mail, discussion group postings, phone calls from people I haven't heard from in a while, even a letter from a friend from college. I had been worried that I was going to turn into needy-deranged-Andrea again, and she is no friend of mine. But you guys didn't let it happen.
I love you all. I know that I don't deserve you and your specialness, but I am so grateful you're here.