Thursday, February 12, 2009

Going to Ground

Just a bit... and just for a few days. Tomorrow is divorce-day. I've seen the judgment; it makes me gasp with pain even after all this time. At some moment, of course, the contract between the two of us must be over. That single moment is tomorrow.

The lies and even the self-deception he's indulging in haven't stopped, even now, so I know this is the right thing. But it still hurts. I know I'll be fine. I know this will work out for the best for me. I know, on a day-to-day level, nothing about my life will change. I haven't been in the same room with him for more than a year. How can a divorce really change that?

And on Monday I will legally begin the process of resuming my birth name. I've been using it everywhere that it didn't seem like a legal thing for a while now. But I'll set about changing all the official records. Which means that this blog will change its location a smidge. I'll give you lots of warning, if it turns out the changes will confuse you. I don't want to lose you guys not even for a minute.

And remember... PJ's at 4:30. I don't know how I'll be feeling, but I know that friendly faces will be welcome. If it turns out that there are too many of us -improbable, I know- then we'll just reconvene at my house. There's no furniture, but there's lots of space.


Sydney said...

Hi Andrea -- Take us all with you tomorrow. It is wise of you to say aloud that nothing will change day to day because that's true. It is also nice of the painful part to remind you that you feel this is ultimately the right thing. And it's very good to know you'll be OK. I believe you DO know that. But I can totally understand the sense of apprehension. Tomorrow afternoon, your wings will be a bit fluffier and more capable. That's not many hours from now.

I wish you a really peaceful night's sleep. And I cheer you on.

Nina said...

We're with you.

Lisa :-] said...

Sending you positive energy for today's event... :-]

Patrice said...

Honey I wish I could be there with you today. But I'm with you in spirit. As one who has been there,I know how awful it is, but you will have friends there with you. That's huge.

Megan said...

Even though we have never met in person, know that I send you my strength today.

And congratulations on officially reclaiming your name. :)

breadchick said...

I've been thinking about you all weekend dearest.