Wednesday, October 08, 2008

OK, So I'm Not Martha

Were you all just laughing at me? I would have been, if I'd had a clue in my head.

Do you KNOW what happens if you put flower pots in carved-out pumpkins and then water the plants??? Revolting, hideous things, that's what. This sort of thing doesn't happen to Martha Stewart. I don't know how I know this, but I do.

She is not the one wearing rubber gloves and gently, with as few fingers as possible, removing the slimy, squishy pumpkins from her front porch. She is not the one throwing the whole mess into a garbage bag and then into the wheelbarrow, so the glop doesn't spread all the way down the driveway as I try to hide the evidence of my failed holiday cheer.

Nope. That has me written all over it.

Plan B.


Lexy said...

I didn't want to burst your Martha moment bubble when you posted about it. But my thought was "man, I hope she has a waterproof container inside that pumpkin."

It WAS a beautiful idea! And now you know why no one else has done it.......or done it and admitted to it. ;)

Andrea said...

LEXY, I need you!!! Speak up next time, or who can tell what horrific thing I'll come up with??!!

Lisa :-] said...

Andrea, they have very nice, life-like pumpkins at the craft store these days. Much as I LOVE pumpkins, I don't use the real ones anymore. Here in the Pacific Northwest, once you crack open a pumpkin it lasts for about three days before it becomes a science experiment, complete with multicolored mold and swarms of fruit flies...

The Martha Stewart pumpkin treatment that we have been using at the cafe the past few years involves painting and glittering whole pumpkins. Definitely an indoor decoration, but they turn out really neat.

Anonymous said...

You made compost that's all. Perfectly useful stuff.