Monday, April 30, 2007

The Next Adventure

I've been quiet because I have a lot on my mind. (Yes, I've noticed that my mind is apparently sufficiently fragile that, when I have to make a big decision, I can't think of very many other things. Oh well.)

Math-Man has been offered a job for next year. Not back here. He wants to do this. I just plain don't think that I have another year living apart in me. It's career-stupidity to quit my job and go there to be with him. I could, of course, say that I won't, and that he should bloody well come home. He's had his fun. He's been clear that he would do that.

But is there a way we can both have what we want and need, if we just think a little more creatively? Do I even know what I want and need? Well, there's the trick question! We have until the end of the week to finish this decision process. After that, the employing institutions need to make plans of their own, so common courtesy demands that we get our acts together.

So, I'm trying to think of a short-term move as an adventure. And it would be great if this adventure could be tweaked into something meaningful and important for me, as well as for him. Honestly, sometimes I'm just plain worn out trying to craft a life in harmony with other people. But then... I'm the one who wants to put being geographically together as the essential for next year, so maybe what I'm trying to be in harmony with is my own unharmonious needs.

Sigh.

4 comments:

breadchick said...

Andrea, hang in there.

Lianne Raymond said...

Andrea,

Is it not possible to take a Leave of Absence for a year rather than out and out quit? That's what I'm considering.

Lisa :-] said...

My husband and I lived in a prt-time marriage (he worked a hundred miles north...stayed in a company-provided apartment during the week and came home on weekends...) for four years. It sucked. And we weren't that far apart. I don't know what the answer is for you, but I know you've been unhappy with the husband away these past months... Surely that counts for something.

suze said...

Oh Andrea! I feel for you. It made my brain hurt to read it.

No advice, just commiseration!